To close out the week on an inspirational note, we wanted to share an inspiring column from Guardian games editor Keith Stuart about his experience as the father of an autistic child, and how an initiative from the UK’s National Autistic Society helped him realize that, “if people learned to be kinder and more understanding, it would benefit everyone[.]”
We’ll let Mr. Stuart take it from there (paragraph breaks added for clarity):
One of the most difficult things about autism is the judgment of other people. That has been my experience of having a son [Zac] on the spectrum. Throughout his life, from trips to the park as a toddler to restaurant visits now as an 11-year-old, it has been the reactions of strangers that have really hurt. ...
As parents, my wife and I have developed ways to foresee and manage these situations, but if we are in a public place, or if my son is with other adults, everything becomes far more fraught and complicated. ... You get used to being judged.
Because autism is now such a huge part of my life, when I first encountered the National Autistic Society’s Pledges initiative, which offers neurotypical people 18 ways to alter their behaviour in order to help friends and colleagues on the spectrum, they seemed really obvious. Making firm arrangements and sticking to them, giving people time to process information, and taking an interest in the things they like are vital elements of being a parent to my son.
And to be honest, they also sound like good ways to behave in general, whoever you are speaking to. But when I watch people interact with Zac – in shops, at children’s parties, in the park – they often fall short. ...
I have come to understand over the past decade that empathy is a learned skill – the ability to understand the viewpoint of another human being is not natural for a lot of people – so the NAS pledges, which are based around taking a few moments to assess the fear or discomfort of another person, are very valuable. ...
I read through the Pledges with Zac and he nodded along. They all made sense to him. He, too, felt that they seemed obvious, but then he appears to quickly forget moments when adults have made him feel stupid or weird.
I asked if there was anything he wanted to get across, if there was a simple message he would add. He thought for a second and just said: “Be nice.”
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The column published in The Guardian was sponsored by the UK’s National Autistic Society.
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Resources for families are available from Autism Speaks.
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